Asperger syndrome makes it hard to make friends and it is understandable that you, a person with AS will be feeling 'why I don't have many friends?'. I would like to invite you to think about two things before answering your question.

(1) What does 'friendship' mean to you? For example, does it mean that your friend and you both enjoy each other's company when you meet?

(2) How many friends do you need? The more friends you have, the better or you want 1 or 2 close friends whom you can rely on?

There are different types of friends in terms of the quality of friendships between your friend and you. For example, a close friend will help you in the ways they can when you are in need and you will help him or her when he or she is in a similar situation. In order to have that closeness between your friend and you, it takes a lot of hard work from both your friend and you. The difficulties caused by Asperger syndrome such as problems in reading people's, e.g., facial expressions, tone of voices, in social situations certainly has made your work in making friends even harder. It is important to understand how or why Asperger syndrome is making it harder for you to make friends so you can learn how to deal with the difficulties caused by the syndrome so you can begin to form a friendship.

How can my school help? (with studies, with social situations?)

First of all, it depends on what kind of school you are in. If you are in a mainstream school, I suspect the help available is very limited. If you are in a special needs school/unit that is catered for people with Asperger syndrome, they will be able to help according to your needs.

If you find yourself struggling with either your studies or getting on with your peers, please approach a staff member whom you can trust and make him/her aware of your conditions and situations. Before approaching the staff member, it may be useful that you prepare a leaflet explaining about the syndrome and write down your thoughts and feelings about what your difficulties are in the studies or social situations and how can your school can help you. I hope both you and your school will come up with some solutions that you both are happy with.

What will it be like when I grow up?

Everyone's experience of growing up is unique and special to him/herself. It appears that some people with Asperger syndrome have become less disabled as they grow older when they are living in as normal a social environment as possible. Such environment can either helps them to find ways to become more able in social situations or leads them to feel unhappier than before as they are not ready. It may be sensible to have realistic expectations of you from yourself or others, to help you. If you can get hold of biographies written by people with Asperger syndrome or high functioning autism like Donna William or Temple Grandin or if you can talk to other people who suffer from the same syndrome, I hope this can also help you to understand what may be like for you when you grow up.

Will I ever meet a girlfriend/boyfriend?

For having a relationship, there are other steps before that, like meeting up with other people, socialising with someone you think is special in different occasions, courting and so forth. If you want to socialise with other people, it gives you opportunities to meet different people. Friendships or relationships can be developed from there, if you and the other person feel the same way. Some people with Asperger syndrome are in relationships even marriages. Their stories of how they met or becoming involved in a relationship, I suppose, will be different from each other according to their circumstances. Some people with the syndrome are happy living on their own. There is no guarantee that you will ever meet a girlfriend/boyfriend. If you have made a choice about whether you want to be involved in a relationship or not, I wish you all the best whatever your choice is.

Is there anyone else I can ask for advice?

I wonder what kind of advice you are after, therefore, I am responding to it in a general. There are difference sources for you to seek advice, for example, people resources or information ones. People resources are referring to a resource that you can talk to someone to find out more about what you want to know such as helpline. Information ones, as you may know, are like books, journals or websites. You may choose whichever one you prefer. It depends on what you want to find out, if you want to find out more about what local resources are available for helping people with Asperger syndrome in your area. You may try different places for example, National Autistic Society Autism Helpline, Tel: 0870 600 85 85 or Minicom: 020 7903 3597 and Website: www.nas.org.uk

Where can I find out more about AS?

The best place to find out more about Asperger syndrome is to go on internet, however, this only is good for people who have access to the internet. There are many websites you may want to get on to find out more about the syndrome, for example, the autism research centre at the University of Cambridge (www.psychiatry.cam.ac.uk/arc) or Asperger's Syndrome Education & Support (www.aspergerssupport.net). Hope you will find these websites useful to you.

For those who don't have access to the internet, you may try your local voluntary organisations that offer help for people with Autism or Asperger syndrome. Alternatively, you may get in touch with National Autistic Society Autism Helpline for more information on AS.